


Ionizing

by GardenOfTheGalaxy



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 22:02:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14839967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GardenOfTheGalaxy/pseuds/GardenOfTheGalaxy
Summary: Nebula and Mantis share a quiet moment on the bridge.





	Ionizing

At age eleven Nebula was already sporting her first cybernetic implant.

By age twenty she was approaching the point of being more machine then flesh.

And it was at age twenty-six that, after an attempt to retrieve the orb and with nothing to show for it but a missing left arm, Nebula realized that maybe all these “upgrades” were never really meant for her benefit.

Looking back on it now, she probably should have clued in much earlier. Years upon years and countless surgeries and never once had she been able to best Gamora. As she hung there, suspended by the laser thorn net, barbs both cutting into her skin and cutting off circulation, a borrowed blade in her other hand she thought, what was it that Thanos had said? Turn weakness into strength? Perhaps that lesson had always been meant for her sister. Perhaps Nebula had never been expected to get stronger, but instead be a pawn in Gamora's journey to greatness. They had always had a soft spot for one another, despite Thanos. 

She was being punished for garnering what little love Gamora had to give.

But that was before; before Ronan's demise and that strange business to do with Quill and his father. Before another failed attempt at taking Thanos' life that which left her, stuck, licking her wounds on this god awful ship among her sister and her merry band of misfits.

And so here she sat, alone, on the bridge of the Milano.

Well, not entirely alone. With their course properly set in the ships navigation system the rest of the crew had retreated for bed save for Mantis, who sat in the seat directly to her right. She may as well have been alone though, based on how quiet the other woman kept. With Quill asleep the constant barrage of Terran music that regularly came from the comm system had been turned off, leaving the bridge unusually silent.

That wasn't true either. It was silent save for the constant hum emitting from Nebula's own being; another downside to Daddy's “improvements”. After the Dervani incident, and what their other siblings had dubbed “the great fall”, a lengthy surgery was required to mend the extensive damage that Nebula's body had undergone. Since then her cybernectic structure had taken to making a stable whirring sound, a fact that Proxima Midnight took great joy in teasing her for.

“Watch out everyone, here comes the not-so-silent assassin.”

Honestly, how it took Nebula this long to realize that she was nothing but the butt of Thanos' great joke is beyond her.

As it stood, Proxima's harassment had only fueled her need to prove herself as “world's greatest daughter”. She'd worked hard in overcoming this new handicap, in utilizing it as white noise to blend in with her surroundings. She had been successful too, but of course no one remembers that part of the story. To this day, on those odd occasions Nebula happens on the others, Proxima always greets her with a snarky “heard you coming a mile away”.

She wasn't exaggerating when she told Gamora that of all their siblings she hated her the least.

But, despite all her hard work, insecurity was still a bitch; she may as well have been screaming her head off for how loud that stupid humming sounded to her in the dead silent ship. She took a chance glance to the only other person in the room.

There was no way Mantis didn't notice the sound.

The other woman sat ramrod straight, hands folded in her lap, and her gaze to the stars ahead but, for all intents and purposes, Mantis looked happy just to be existing. Nebula had yet to figure her out.

She was familiar with the idea of nature versus nurture, and supposed it had some significance within the situation. Both Mantis and herself had been raised by non idealistic father figures, and while it wasn't her place to compare Ego with Thanos, she could only assume that the other woman's upbringing would have an outwardly negative effect. And yet, Mantis had been nothing but bubbly and warm to everyone. Sure, she clearly struggled with social interactions, but Nebula was by no means an expert in the matter herself. If it were true that not all traits were learned, then she couldn't help but wonder exactly what Mantis' people were like. She knew nothing of the species, and, quite honestly, knew nothing of the Luphomoid's to compare.

Could she even still be considered Luphomoid?

Realizing she'd still been staring at the other woman this whole time, Nebula quickly diverted her large black eyes back to the view port.

Had Mantis noticed her staring? And back to the matter at hand, was she aware of the humming?

The more Nebula became aware of the sound, the louder it seemed to get. The louder the sound, the more stressed she became. She was sure she was outright vibrating at this point, and the stillness of the rest of the sleepy ship was beginning to feel as if it was closing in on her. She was feeling stressed and self conscious, and a stressed, self conscious Nebula was never good. She lashed out.

“SORRY.”

Not so much lashed as... blurted.

Why did she just apologize? And why did she yell it?

Mantis' head whipped to the side to regard her with shock, and Nebula herself looked disturbed at her own outburst. Wide, black, robotized eyes remained forward, flicking between stars and constellations in avoidance.

“I.......”

Why couldn't she act normal around this woman?

“I said I'm sorry.”

Nebula still refused to look away from the window, so she couldn't see Mantis' face, but she could imagine it; the confused look, brows knit, naturally down turned lips pulled further, head cocked to the left just so. She still hadn't said anything. Well, Nebula had gotten herself into this mess.

“My body, my... enhancements... they can be noisy. Buzzy. I'm sorry if it... I'm disturbing you.”

Silence, and then...

“Oh!”

Nebula whipped her head back to finally confront Mantis, only to see the other woman leaning toward her in earnest with that awkward smile.

“You are not disturbing me! I quite like it actually!”

“Like it?” It was Nebula's turn to be confused.

“Yes!” Mantis wiggled further forward, if that was even possible. “Your... buzzing? It reminds me of when Peter's tapes run out of music, but the spool still turns and the speakers crackle. Back on Ego...” 

Here she paused but for a moment. She had been getting better at opening up about life with Quill's celestial father, but Nebula knew better than anyone that some wounds left scars. Mantis cleared her throat and pushed through.

“Back on Ego, I could feel him, hear him everywhere. It was never quiet. But sometimes it gets so quiet on this ship, and then I am left with my thoughts and... well, I like it. The buzzing. It is why I came up here to sit with you.”

Oh. Nebula didn't really have a response for that.

“Oh.”

She cast her eye line towards the floor and tilted her head down just so in an act of acknowledgment, before rotating the chair back to face the window. She could hear Mantis turn away as well, and somewhere deep within Nebula she hoped she hadn't offended her. This thought disturbed her while solidifying something within herself that she already knew: she'd been spending way too much time with these idiots.

So preoccupied with her own self-loathing and the swirl of confusion that Mantis' comments had brought on, Nebula was startled when the other woman let out an audible gasp.

“Look!”

The cyborg's head snapped back up to the stars, eye's dutifully scanning for a threat on the horizon. When no danger could be found, she turned sharply back to the bug woman and snapped.

“What?!”

Unfazed by the other woman's harsh tone, Mantis excitedly pointed out the window and repeated herself.

“Look! To the left, in the distance! Do you see it?”

Nebula turned back to the view port and looked again, where Mantis had pointed. She focused her cybernetic eyes on said point but all she saw was...

“I don't... what? The nebula?”

The women turned back towards each other, one in confusion and the other in excitement. Mantis had taken to leaning forward again, that awkward smile upon her lips and antennae perked up. Of all of Gamora's friends on the Milano, Mantis seemed to be the only one who ever stared directly into Nebula's eyes. It was unnerving.

“Yes! A nebula! Get it?”

All that answered her was a tilt of the cyborg's head.

“Like your name: Nebula.”

Stupid. Based off of Mantis' slowly deflating excitement and drooping antennae Nebula wasn't doing a very good job at hiding her thoughts. Not that she was trying anyway; But that strange sensation of guilt was back and now she was going to have to rectify. Why was this so hard?

Direct eye contact and a slight twitch upward of the right side of her mouth.

“I get it.”

Silence.

“Good one?”

Was it even supposed to be a joke? Nebula didn't know. Why were they talking about this? She hated small talk. Mantis' mood seemed to have regained a small fraction of her earlier excitement at least and her posture relaxed as she regarded Nebula curiously. Nebula decided that that was way more than enough eye contact for the day. She turned back to the window and observed said nebula again.

“Do you think your parents had a particular cloud in mind when they named you? Something close to your home world?”

Dear god why?

She didn't miss a beat, answering on instinct.

“I don't know, I didn't know them.” Then, a thought. “Actually, I'm not sure who named me.”

A quick glance in Mantis' direction was all the pity she needed to see before her mood dampened more and she faced forward again.

“Whatever. I don't care. It doesn't suit me anyway.”

Mantis seemed to finally take the hint, that maybe Nebula didn't want to talk about this. She heard the other woman turn towards the window again, and the bridge dropped back into silence, save for the ever present mechanical whirring. The women continued to sit and observe, and Nebula could feel her own tension begin to drop. Whether it was due to the calm of the sleepy ship, or the affirmation that Mantis wasn't disturbed by the aforementioned humming, Nebula did not know. 

By the time Mantis chose to speak again, Nebula had come to learn to expect it.

“I think it does.”

Nebula took a quarter turn to her right, still refusing to fully face her, and Mantis must have had enough affirmation for she continued.

“I think the name suits you.”

From the corner of her eye Nebula could see Mantis gesturing to the cloud again.

“Nebula's are made up of dust and gases, yes? Different gases ionizing and diffusing to form this swirl of dazzling colors. So all these different elements, some conflicting, they have all collided together to make something beautiful; like you.”

Oh.

“Anyway...” Nebula could feel Mantis shift and stand, see the other woman stretch from the corner of her eye and hear her bones crack. “I think I am going to go to bed.”

Mantis began heading to the back of the bridge, where the stairs are located to the lower level. Nebula remains seated, facing forward, but she can't help but feel like some window is closing; the clock is ticking.

“Mantis...”

Footsteps stop, and Nebula turns fully to the right but still can't bring herself to fully face the other woman. Her eyes remain down, staring at a random spot on the metal decking.

“If... I...”

Mantis exudes patience. Nebula clears her throat unnecessarily, continues.

“When everyone is asleep... and I am on the bridge, if you want to join me... I... wouldn't... I wouldn't mind if you joined me. If you liked.”

It was awkward and uncomfortable and Nebula had never wished to be anywhere else more then this moment. She chanced a full glance up at Mantis from the corner of her eye before returning to the floor.

Another one of the bug woman's awkward smiles.

“I would like that very much.”

Mantis finally descended the stairs and Nebula turned back to the window, deep black eye's drifting back up to the colorful cloud of gas on a canvas of black.


End file.
